A World of a Difference

A World of a Difference

Hello all 💗

I’m writing to you guys today with the grounds of feeling particularly hopeful, but of course, painfully anxious for my academic future. I truly see you all as beautiful and empathic people, who are dedicated to my page, and this is the one reason why I feel even the slightest bit comfortable coming to you all right now.

As I’ve said before, my mother passed just this May after suffering, and not recovering, from a severe cardiac arrest. What I didn’t say is that my family is struggling quite severely.  It has gotten to the point where my father has suggested me taking a year off from university because at this point, it truly isn’t something we can even dream to afford.

With my mother’s passing, as well as  the loss of her income, there’s no way we can bear the expense of on campus housing, and because I go to school in Chicago, and that’s 2 hours away from where I live, it isn’t even possible for me to commute from home.

As it stands, if I would like to stay in school in the pursuit of my bachelor’s degree, my only real option is to opt for off-campus housing, and subsequently rent an apartment.

This still isn’t completely feasible without my mother still here, and you all know how “helpful” our friends Fafsa can be.

With the price of rent and my tuition looming over my head, I’ve reasoned that because my father has two other children to care for, this is something I need to work for on my own. As of right now, I’m picking up a second job, but it’s still nowhere near enough.

Because of all this I have finally convinced myself to create a gofundme and admit to myself that I need help. I’m coming to you guys to simply ask for just that. I couldn’t survive without school. Loyola has been this beautiful home away from home for me for the past year, and it’s an environment that I feel truly enriches my pursuit of happiness, education, and success. I’ve met so many amazing people (like my best friend Joce, hey Joceyyyy), manifested important connections, taken classes that I’ll never forget and always appreciate, and have joined organizations that I honestly feel I can make a significant difference in (shout out to BCC, the Black Cultural Center ❤️🖤💚). I’m now on the Black Cultural Center’s e-board, elected as their Publicity Chair. I’d hate to bail on them, and the plans I had for an organization I care so much about.

Aside from my family, it’s honestly the only thing I have left, and it means the world to me. It’d be a true blessing to still be able to stay.

 

I’ve provided the link to my gofundme here.

Anything you can give would not only be immensely appreciated, but remarkably life-changing.

Sending all my love,

Ya fav Sagittarius, Mena

Mystery Blogger Award (1, 2, & 3)

Mystery Blogger Award (1, 2, & 3)

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Hello all, hope your having a great summer so far!

Just recently, I’ve had the extraordinary privilege of receiving two nominations for the Mystery Blogger Award, and I’m wholeheartedly honored to receive them. I was nominated by SmartsandSparkles and TashneeVMavee, so please check them out!

Created by Okoto Enigma, the Mystery Blogger Award, is this cool award for bloggers with innovative and intelligent posts. She writes that,

Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion. – Okoto Enigma

A huge thank you to Okoto Enigma for creating this ingenious award! With each nomination, it is required by the nominated blogger to answer a couple questions from their nominator.


The Rules

The rules for this award are as follows:

  1. Put the award logo or image on your blog
  2. Thank the person who nominated you and link their blog in your post.
  3. Name the creator of the award and link their blog.
  4. List the rules.
  5. Answer your nominator’s questions.
  6. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  7. Nominate 10-20 people.
  8. Ask your nominees 5 original questions of your choice.
  9. Share links to your best blog posts.
  10. Notify each of your nominees by commenting on their blog.

So my first nominator, SmartsandSparkles, asks:

  • What’s your favorite topic to write about?

My absolute favorite topic to write about would have to be a tie between OOTDs and Black News (this realm includes anything to do with African-American culture, race relations, Black celebrity lifestyle and fashion, Black Lives Matter, and of course Black History Month).

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Pssst! This is a sneak peak to my new OOTD post!
  • What gave you the idea to begin a blog?

The initial idea for me to begin what was Noire Rewritten, and what has now evolved into Femme Rewritten, came from my sheer love of writing. I’ve been writing since I was a little girl, and since then, I’ve written three novels, won awards in school and from popular authors like April Linder, been published, been accepted to write for a popular magazine, and have started this blog! I aspire to join my university’s Journalism crew this year, finish another novel, and flesh out some freelance ideas I’ve been working on.

  • Dogs, cats, or both?

This is a hard one, as I’ve never had a dog before, and my aunt has a cat that I’m constantly around, but I’ll have to go with dogs! They’re seem to be bit friendlier, and from what I’ve experienced, like to cuddle a lot more.

  • What’s a pet peeve of yours?

Probably my biggest pet peeve to date would have to be people not keeping their word. I see myself as a person of integrity and someone who never breaks a promise, and I’d love for other people to abide by that same unspoken rule as well.

My other would be not knowing what word I want to use, even though it’s on the very tip of my tongue haha.

  • What’s a piece of advice you’d give to a beginning blogger?

Never isolate yourself! Get out there and make a connection to something, or with someone! Whether it be in WordPress, other blogging communities, school, or work, get yourself and your work out there. To do that, you have to be willing to meet them halfway sometimes. Be sure to read, comment, and like on other people’s pieces every now and then! Major key.

My second nominator, TashneeVMavee, asks:

  • What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever done?

The weirdest thing I’ve ever done? I honestly don’t know, but the funniest has got to be one time I was taking food up to my room, and I tripped up the stairs and spilled it everywhere. I cleaned it up and my parents never found out lmao.

  • Can you tell me some of your strengths​ that really helped you in blogging?

For some reason I’ve always preferred English and the Arts over every other subject, and I feel that that’s helped me with this blog quite a bit, as I love to read, and reading can only make you a better writer.

I also consider my love of writing to be a major strength in my blogging efforts. Nothing fuels you more than passion.

  • Who has impacted you most in blogging and how?

The person that has impacted me most in blogging is my mom, she fueled my love for English, reading and the arts because of how much she loved them too. She also wanted to start a blog, but unfortunately we never got to it. One day I hope to start a blog centered around her idea in honor of her.

  • Who was your first style icon?

Again, my momma. Her fashion sense was amazing. She always knew what to pair with what, where to find the best styles and deals to coincide, and her way of life was simply effortless. She’s also bought me a lot of the pieces that I’ve featured on my OOTD posts (like the Green American Rag Cargo Jacket and the Michael Kors Jet Set purse!).

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  • How would you describe your blogging style?

My blogging style tends to run along the lines of poetic and free with a touch of purple prose, yet explanatory and relying somewhat on visuals. I love photography, so I try to feature some of mine every now and then. I write about African-American and African culture, cosmetics, fashion, Feminist culture, lifestyle, and anything else that embraces everything that a woman is or can be!


3 Things About Myself

  1. I love fashion. This includes clothes, handbags, accessories, shoes, cosmetics, and the process of acquiring said items… Shopping.
  2. Organization is a huge part of my life, and I use it as a stress reliever. Mapping out my week in my 2 year planner, filling up my calendar, and reorganizing my room and closet fill me with this unbelievable sense of satisfaction that I can’t get from any where else… Besides completing and publishing a blog post of course 😉
  3. As for being a writer, I’m also an entrepreneur, a musician (voice and the Flute), a self-declared photographer, and an athlete (Tennis, Volleyball, and Yoga).

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My Nominees

Below I have listed and linked 15 amazing femme bloggers I’ve met here on WordPress who I believe deserve the Mystery Blogger Award ten times over. Congrats guys!

  1. Built By Flaws
  2. Tonye Tariah Fitness & Health
  3. Rated T
  4. Chocolate & Confident
  5. The White Rose
  6. Melissa Kimberly
  7. Samantha Boulos
  8. Affa Bonnie
  9. Not Your Average Girly Girl
  10. Life of Angela
  11. Pinot & Peeptoes
  12. Ruminvte
  13. The Terrence Effect
  14. I Wanna Be a Lady
  15. Niken’s Martini

My Questions for the Nominees

  1. What made you start your blog, and what makes you stay?
  2. If you had to write about one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?
  3. Where do you draw your inspiration from?
  4. Where’s your favorite place to write? (Mine is Starbucks ☕️ and outside on warm summer nights 🌴)
  5. If you could be anywhere in the world, doing anything, with anyone, where would you be, what would you be doing, and who would you be doing it with?

Again thank you so so so much for the nominations as these are my very first on WordPress to date. While you’re here, check out some of my fav posts?


Stay tuned for my post about my One Lovely Blogger nomination!!

Sending my love,

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Dt Napes: OOTD

Dt Napes: OOTD

Last week, my family and I went to Downtown Naperville, IL, and the weather was beautiful. The water looked crisp, the sun was bright and shining, and the riverwalk was somewhat empty. So like any other normal melanated civilian, I saw it fit to have an impromptu photoshoot (using an iPhone 7 camera of course).

The Outfit

My outfit consisted of a simple H&M Basic’s Latte Scalloped Tee (2 for $10), Dark Wash Hollister Super Skinny Jeans ($25), Cream, Brown, and Reptile Print Franco Sarto Sandals ($40), an Olive Green American Rag Cargo Jacket ($30), and my JetSet Cream Michael Kors Purse ($150). I accessorized with some bracelets from my neighborhood Illumena Jewelry ($30), and a Pandora Bracelet ($150). My outfit was just over $400. Again, keep in mind that these items have been acquired over a series of years; it wasn’t a one time buy!

The Photoshoot

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 I digress

This was totally unplanned, but really fun. I’ll have to make a habit of this.

Until next time!

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Femme Rewritten & 500 WordPress Followers

Femme Rewritten & 500 WordPress Followers

Hi all! I’m writing to you guys today about something that I am very proud to share.

I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time, and two days ago, I finally took the steps to officially change my blog’s name from Noire Rewritten to Femme Rewritten. I had get new domains, make new banners and visuals, change the blog around a bit, and make all new business cards. Despite all of this (it was a ton to accomplish in two days), I have to say that I am highly inspired about this transition and the growth of my blog’s brand.

Just for the sake of a little background, in French, Noire translates to “Black” or “Dark”. As an African American woman, I’ve always wanted to question and confront the chauvinistic and destructive theorem that has been ascribed to the Black narrative. Ergo the “Rewritten” half of my blog’s name. I wanted a name that was exclusive and yet inclusive, but still something that easily got my principle message across–Noire Rewritten did just that.

As my first year with this blog came to a close, I began to write about more than issues in just Black and Brown communities. I built up to writing about the false generalizations and toxic expectations for woman in historical and modern day society, and how to go about changing those restrictive normalizations day by day. Somewhere along those blurred lines, I began to write about fashion, beauty, self love, and self care.

While wholeheartedly accepting that the struggle of a Black Woman will always be the most arduous of every race, in this moment, I realize that my expansions on what it means to be a Black Woman, can partially transcend to what it means to be a woman altogether.

As my writing develops and the idea behind my blog deepens, I’ve found that I want to adopt a brand that embodies my entire vision for what I’ve always wanted my blog to be. I feel that now, Femme Rewritten not only encompasses me, a young Nigerian American woman, but also embraces all of the aspects that make me, and other women of color, women. 

This blog can now allow itself to be a more comprehensive environment, and yet still distinctive enough to focus on matters of Black, Brown, and Female communities that don’t receive enough positive scrutiny. Through all of this, know that this blog still remains a Pro-Black, Black Lives Matter, and Liberal space–I’ve now just officially declared it a Feminist one, if it wasn’t already apparent before.

With this new brand, I aspire to assist in rewriting what our bureaucracy stigmatizes all women of color to be.

I also want to utilize this post to thank you all for 500 WORDPRESS FOLLOWERS! It was only June 3rd that I was thanking you for 100. I can’t even begin to express how thrilled I am to be reaching more hearts, and more minds.

P.S: yesterday I was nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award, so I’ll be making a post about that, which will include my own nominees as well!

Thank you, stay tuned, and as usual, comment below what you’d like to see me post about next (or if you just want to say hi)!

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Until my next post, I leave you with this question:

What will you rewrite?

Sending my love,

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ďťżThank You!ďťż

ďťżThank You!ďťż

Thanks so much for 100 followers! Just days ago I was just a little over 40!

You guys have no idea how much this means to me. I started this blog a year ago, and fell off for quite some time, only to come back this summer after my mother passed away. Her passing is taking everything from me, and I think the only thing keeping me together, keeping me here, are the people I love, and the ability to channel what little feeling I have left through my writing.

Although I may not personally know many of you, I am exceptionally pleased to have you guys here, reading my work; it’s a deeply appreciated form of unspoken support.

If you have any content suggestions, any feedback… anything, let me know down below!

Stay tuned for more posts, and again, thank you.

Sending my love,

Mena

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2016 Nordstrom Fall Beauty Trend Show: Oakbrook

2016 Nordstrom Fall Beauty Trend Show: Oakbrook

This past Saturday, October 15th, my mother, my sister, my aunt, and I were invited to Oakbrook’s 2016 Nordstrom Fall Beauty Trend Show.

Let’s talk the outfit first.

The Outfit

My top was a thick knit cream sweater from H&M; simple, comfortable, yet still chic. My jeans, oh my jeans: dark wash distressed high waisted denim from Hollister. For accessories, I decided on a cute and simple Kors Jetset Purse, my Fitbit Alta, two of my favorite Hai Panda Bracelets, my Pandora Rose bracelet and my favorite statement necklace from Forever 21. I finished the outfit with a simple pair of nude flats from Forever 21, and my favorite American Rag Cargo Jacket.

Screen Shot 2017-06-16 at 2.43.43 AM.pngThick Knit H&M Sweater: $30 / American Rag Cargo Jacket: $30
High-Waisted Distressed Hollister Jeans: $25 / Michael Kors Jet Set Purse: $90IMG_5123.JPGForever 21 Opalescent Statement Necklace: $20 / Hai Panda Beaded Bracelets: $32IMG_5153.JPGPandora Rose Braclet: $125 / Gold Limited Edition Fitbit Alta: $150

The entire outfit was under $500 of course – this isn’t the Grammy’s.

Keep in mind that this all wasn’t purchased at the same time. I’ve acquired some of my favorite statement pieces, such as the Pandora Rose Bracelet and the Fitbit over the years, those being gifts to myself, and the Kors purse being a birthday gift. You just have to be a savvy shopper 😉

Oh yeah, you probably want to hear about the actual event.

The Event

We arrived at 4am, landing us first place in line, and with our blankets in tow, proceeded to tough out the autumn chill for 3 hours – then in which the doors would be opening.

We shared some laughs with others in line, aching for 6:30am, when they would bring out the music and coffee to tide us over until the event began. I didn’t even drink the coffee, I used it to warm my hands. I’m sure it tasted swell though.

The time was finally 7:30am and my crew and I were ready to work the event. The doors finally opened, and after the initial bliss the wave of heat gave us, my little sister and I strutted into the Nordstrom department store, with my mom and aunt right behind us. Gladly accepting our complimentary goodie totes, we made our way up the two flights of escalators, and took our place front row, stage left, excited for the trunk show to finally begin.

Every trend show is exciting, filled with people who appreciate fashion and beauty just as much as I do. It was exciting to preview the upcoming Fall and Winter trends, as well as new products from some of the most popular cosmetic and fragrance companies. This year’s host, Gilbert Vera – definitely my favorite in the past 3 years – bounced out and started the show off perfectly. He was charming, funny, and knew just which buttons to push to get the crowd excited.

The Models

The fashion show was broken down into two distinct concepts that somehow manage to work together: Modern Romance (ultra-pretty neutrals) and Dark Glamour (bold color).

 

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  1. Going from right to left, the first model wore a For Love & Lemons white dress with crochet detailing and sexy black thigh high boots.
  2. The second, a Laura Mercier Model, wore an Alicia + Olivia cream sweater with beaded dealing and a black pleated wide leg pant.
  3. The third was one of my favorites, she sported a Ted Baker London black gown with a bow detail.
  4. The fourth, a MAC model, wore an Olivia Palermo + Chelsea28 black leather overalls and a Leith ivory ruffled high collar blouse.
  5. The fifth, my absolute favorite, wore a TrouvĂŠ black poet’s blouse, and a rose cigarette pant. The shoes were to die for.
  6. The Charlotte Tilbury model on the far left, wore a Kate Spade New York blush pink sweater with a rosette bow, and a Milly black modern miniskirt.

You don’t know how hard it was to resist the urge to strut the runway with them. Très chic

After a couple minutes of music, the DJ stops and says “I just wanted to say that the two girls in the front row, in the blue shirt and the green jacket, were the very first in line”. My sister and I looked around and realized in .02 seconds that we were the girls in the blue shirt and the green jacket. Gilbert walks over and puts the microphone in front of my sister, asking how long we’d been there, and once he heard 4am, he suggested that we receive a gift. He comes back from the gift table and hands us this Deluxe Dior Gift Set. This was her second year coming to the trunk show and my third so we were definitely hyped to have received such a  beautiful gift.

The Deluxe Dior Gift Set: $200 Value

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Ms. Dior Absolutely Blooming Perfume: $90 / Dior 5 Colors Skyline Palette: $63 / Dior Vernis Nail Lacquer: $27 / DiorShow Mascara: $28.50

Only about 20 minutes into the show and we’re on Trish Mcevory watching this gorgeous lady talk about the ‘Chic Collection’ Planner’ ($225), and it consisted of everything you’d need to get ready in the morning in under 10 minutes. Gilbert takes center stage again, and pauses, walking over to my mom, and asks for her brochure (it consisted of all of the designers we’d be seeing throughout the show), and he says, “I just want to point out that this lovely lady right here is taking amazing notes on each product we’ve seen. Like look at this!” He literally walked around and showed everyone additions my mom made with her loose cursive penmanship. He’s like “Let’s give her something shall we?” The crowd cheers, and my mom, my sister, my aunt and I are beyond excited for the second time that day. He comes back and gives her a $200 value Trish Mcevoy gift set. I nearly died, twice.

The Trish Mcevoy Deluxe Gift Set: $200 Value

Screen Shot 2017-06-16 at 2.47.37 AM.pngNo. 9 Blackberry and Vanilla Musk Eau De Parfum: $85.50 / No. 9 Blackberry and Vanilla Musk Enriched Body Cream: $60 / No. 9 Blackberry and Vanilla Musk Body Polish and Sugar Scrub: $55

The Deluxe Philosophy Goodie Bag: $120 Value

I also received a beautiful Philosophy all-around sampler bag. Screen Shot 2017-06-16 at 2.48.26 AMThe show moves on to talk about another 15 or so brands and their newest products. I’ll put some of my favorites down below.

MAC ‘C’est Chic’ Matte Eyeshadow Palette: $65

IMG_7768.JPGNow this is a palette I can really commit to. Whenever I buy palette’s from MAC, I always opt for the customizable “build your own palette” option (only available in standalone MAC stores and online), because I tend to favor buying palettes in which I can use all the shades. Too many a time – and I know this is true for African-American and other colored women and men – there will be shades in a palette that I love and that I finish first, shades that are ‘eh’ on my skintone and therefore are not used as much, and shades that don’t fit me at all, or that I’d never wear. Building my own palette at MAC guarantees that each shade in my palette will be used equally, and look equally beautiful on my chocolate skin.

But this ready-made palette may be a contender. I love matte shadows, and each one in here is matte. What I will say is that for each matte shade, I appreciate the shimmer version of it, if you want to go for a simple one-tone look. Despite that minor flaw, I can definitely see myself getting this palette for Christmas 😉

The shades include: You’re Bluffing (soft peach), Soft Brown (soft golden peachy-brown), Demitasse (midtone brown), Corduroy (muted reddish-brown), Dash of Mocha (dark beige brown), Pale, Please (washed out pink), Oo La CafĂŠ (midtone neutral), Choc-ful (murky midtone pink), All’s Rosy (deep pink rose), Embark (intense reddish brown), Drawing a Blanc (creamy beige), Fogged in Dirty (grey), Pinch of Sage (warm grey), Dance in the Dark (dark brown), and Raven-Eyed (deep dark navy).

Jo Malone London’s ‘Basil & Neroli’ Cologne: $65 – $130

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It’s fresh, light, eccentric, with a herbaceous warmth, and a citrusy twist. A perfect everyday scent, and I plan on picking up my very own 1 oz. bottle.

Photo credit: theperfumeboy.com

‘Laila’ Fragrance: $56 – $76

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Laila is this beautiful and clean scent by Geir Ness of Norway. It’s infused with Norwegian mountain wildflowers and with a touch of fruit inflections. What makes it better? The creator, Geir Ness, dedicated it to his mother, Laila, who used to take him up to the Norwegian Mountains when he was a young boy. Can we say ‘cute’?

Fresh ‘Vitamin Nectar Vibrancy-Boosting Face Mask’: $62

Behind-the-scenes-at-Fresh-Beauty-s-lab_article_full-1.jpgThe representatives at the counter gave me a free facial with this, and I have to tell you it is one of the best masks I have ever tried, aside from  Lush Fresh Face Masks. It smells amazing, and it’s actually 50% real crushed citrus fruits, including oranges, lemons and clementines. Its vitamin fruit complex contains vitamins C, E and B5, so it’s perfect for anyone with natural vitamin deficiencies, such as myself. The lemon and orange fruit extracts and minerals are supposed to help revitalize skin, and give it a more vibrant glow and soft texture. Of course I can’t judge that off of one use, so this is something else I plan on purchasing during the Christmas season.

Photo credit: prestigeonline.com

I digress

All in all this was the best Nordstrom Trend Show I’ve been to out of the three total times I have attended. It was lively, rewarding, and had an amazing host; so thanks so much to Gilbert Vera and Nordstrom for making this one the finest yet.

Nordstrom Beauty Trend Event.pngDid anyone else attend a Nordstrom Trend Show? If so comment below, and tell me which city you went to, and how it was!

Even if you didn’t attend a Trend Show (you should!), what looks are you most excited for during the Fall/Winter? Ultra-pretty neutrals, bold color, or a little bit of both? I’d love to hear from you!cropped-femme-rewritten-banner-14.png

 

 

Not So Good to be a Good Girl

Not So Good to be a Good Girl

For decades, possibly even centuries, mass media and popular culture have focused on teaching girls to embrace a version of selfhood that is particularly damaging to their potential greatness. Our authority, our authenticity, has been staggered by the pressure to be “good”-selfless, modest, kind, gorgeous, and submissive. Growing up we have been told how to treat our bodies and when it is acceptable to show them – if at all.

As women, we live in the ultimate paradox of a lose-lose situation. Our bodies are constantly held to the standard of absolute excellence and the ways we choose to display our sexuality are often (always) abhorred.

The problem is, we do not emphasize the correct message for both the male and female population–at least not as much as we should.  It is almost always acceptable for boys and men to act in provocative ways, and that girls and women should be repressed and unstimulating. We constantly impress upon women that they should have no sexual freedom, yet, at the same time, men are generally admired if they have high levels of sexual activity. This ideology opens the door for a dangerous sense of entitlement, which in turn, can facilitate a culture that excuses harassment, rape, domestic violence, and other injustices that women face disproportionately more than men.

In the media, and unfortunately perpetuated throughout daily life, people constantly focus on the visible aspects that make women women, but when they themselves venture to be proud of their own anatomy, or attempt to be sexually liberated, it is painted as engaging in activities “unfit for a lady”, or they are slandered as whores and sluts. Women are only expected to be sexual if it is for the purpose of pleasing a man, or in the pursuit of bearing a man’s offspring. The ultimate consequence of such a primitive mindset, is the toxic message that “a woman’s body exists entirely for the consumption of men”… (or man rather, because if a woman has more than one sexual partner that is another reason for her to receive a scarlet letter). The next inference will be that a woman’s mind, a woman’s consciousness, exists solely to serve man.

That could not be further from the truth.

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It is more emphasized for girls to protect themselves from sexual harassment than it is to teach men to respect the women they come in contact with. Disseminating itself into rape culture, the resulting idea is that it is the victim’s fault that they were sexually assaulted. Subsequently, the message that arises is that they sanctioned their harassment by being too much of a tease and that the way they were dressed warranted the maltreatment they received. This speaks as if an outfit with slightly more coverage could convince a potential rapist that their payoff may no longer be worth the struggle. This, in turn, communicates to society (and young women, more importantly) that the way a woman dresses determines how she is to be treated.

Historically, much of the world’s society has been a patriarchal bureaucracy intended to enforce the assumption that men are to be incomparably successful and “their” women are to be submissive, sophisticated, domesticated mates. Mothers and daughters are to be seen, never heard, and to bear offspring whenever their husbands so please. Such an unspoken rule and regulation on one sex tells a single group that they are entitled to the other, and the other, that their inherent obligation is to please.

As contradictory to common sense this may seem, if you have a daughter, don’t raise her to be a “good girl”. Instead of constantly controlling and encouraging anxiety with countless warnings about the unavoidable dangers of the opposite sex, engage her in conversation. Listen to what she has to say, then reflect, and advise. The appreciation and voiced affirmation of a girl’s feelings at a young age can powerfully influence her emotional confidence and success as a woman. With the added pressure from mainstream media, it can be quite challenging for young women to focus on forming their own authentic identities. In my afflicted opinion, females are more perceptive to the emotions of others and empathetic to what they feel. Research has shown that girls develop emotional intelligence earlier than their male counterparts. Having said this, it is important to understand that this innate gift is stifled by the need to constantly hide what they truly feel. When our emotional expression is perpetually depicted as meaningless, we begin to regard other people’s sensitivity at the expense of our own. Coming from personal experience, when focusing on achieving someone else’s definition of perfection, girls begin to discount their own feelings. We do this with such commitment, that by the time we turn into young women, we have found it consummately rational to censor our own consciousness. Consequently, we begin to surround ourselves with individuals who do not value our feelings. We can’t blame them, though, because at the end of the day, we give others no reason to care, if we don’t even pretend that we do. This constant neglect of our own emotional disparity, can, in turn, affect our mental and physical health. Focus on encouraging young girls to discover aspects of themselves that they can translate into conducive and cathartic outlets.

Everyone has to find something to give their mind a break.

A lack of care for our emotional fitness translates into other facets of life–especially relationships. Above all, it keeps us from falling, and remaining, in love with ourselves.

I think we females have two points in our lives where we are consciously able conceptualize the meaning of loving ourselves: as candid, innocuous children, and when we have experienced enough in life to be able to filter through the bullshit and find our own beautiful truths.

I suppose we’ll all get to that point someday.

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